Archive for May 21, 2024

The Father’s Day Gift Guide for What NOT to Buy

Father’s Day is just around the corner, and you’re probably wondering what to get for the dad in your life. Well, we’re here to help…by telling you what gifts to absolutely avoid at all costs. Trust us, dads have seen it all when it comes to lame, useless or just downright awful Father’s Day presents. Steer clear of these 15 terrible ideas:

1. Novelty Neck Ties
Unless your dad is a quirky kindergarten teacher or has specifically expressed his love for off-the-wall novelty ties, skip this played-out gift. Dads have received enough neckties plastered with tacky cartoon characters, bad puns, or garish patterns over the years to strangle the entire population. He likely has an entire drawer stuffed with these so-called “humorous” ties he’ll never wear.

2. Mugs Declaring #1 Dad
There’s nothing quite like the unintentionally insulting “#1 Dad” mug to remind Dad that his parenting skills are, at best, average. While mugs can make decent gifts if personalized tastefully, those campy “No. 1 Dad” ones with childish prints or cringe-worthy fonts just scream “I took no thought in this gift.” It comes off less as a sincere gesture and more like a not-so-subtle insult about his dad skills being mediocre. Plus, does he really need another mug inevitably collecting dust in the back of the cabinet?

3. Generic Tool Set
While good tools can make excellent Father’s Day gifts for dads who are avid DIYers or constantly tinkering with projects, a cheap, generic tool kit from the hardware store misses the mark. It’s an incredibly lazy and impersonal gift that lacks any meaning. A generic toolset essentially says “I had no idea what to get you, so I grabbed the first thing I saw that vaguely relates to stereotypical dad interests.” Put in a little more effort to get him quality tools he’ll actually use.

4. Bad Pun-Filled Greeting Cards
Dads are usually pretty appreciative of a solid pun or dad joke. But the cringe-worthy, immature puns and gags in most Father’s Day greeting cards are enough to make any dad roll his eyes into the next dimension. Why waste money on a card that attempts laughably bad jokes about farts, belly bulges, or how mom “wears the pants” in the family? Save a few bucks and skip the card altogether if you can’t find one that avoids this lazy humor.

5. Ugly Sweaters, Slippers or Clothing
Listen, we get it – dads can be hopelessly stuck in an outdated style rut sometimes. But unless he specifically requested some newThreadCzar Reyn Spooners or luxe slippers, giving dads ugly clothes or footwear just breeds resentment. You’re essentially telling him his sense of style is pathetically stuck in the Stone Age, all while forcing him to smile and pretend to like your passive-aggressive “gift” that’s really just an insult wrapped in colorful paper. Express your fashion advice through love and support, not scratchy sweaters and sandals he’ll never wear.

6. Exercise Equipment (Unless Requested)
Treadmills, weightlifting gear, exercise bikes and other home fitness equipment can be great gifts…if he’s explicitly asked for it. Otherwise, you’re not-so-subtly implying he needs to work on shedding his dad bod or improving his health. No dad wants to unwrap home workout gear from their loved ones, as it’s a harsh reminder that his children think he’s out of shape. Definitely a good way to get uninvited from family BBQs and holiday gatherings.

7. Power Tools (for Non-Handy Dads)
For dads who don’t know a Phillips head from a flat head screwdriver, lavish power tools and expensive tool chests are pretty much worthless and impractical gifts. They’ll likely gather dust in the garage or attic before you decide to regift them next year out of frustration. Unless he’s specifically mentioned needing or wanting tools for an upcoming project, it’s best to stick to gifts better tailored to his actual interests and skillset.

8. Barbecue Tools/Aprons (for Dads Who Don’t Grill)
Gifting grilling accessories, utensils, cookbooks or kitschy BBQ aprons for the dad who never touches the barbecue or has zero inclination to grill is just missing the mark completely. It mistakenly assumes that all dads love to char meats and veggies over open flames. Get him a gift suited to his actual preferred cooking interests and methods instead of perpetuating grilling stereotypes.

9. Bad Knockoff Brand Cologne
Unless he’s specifically mentioned wanting to try a new cologne or fragrance, don’t waste money on those cheap, overpowering knockoff brands found at drugstores and discount retailers. Those generic body sprays with bizarre names like “Rec’ing Borg” or “Mallard for the Satin” won’t make him feel like a sophisticated gentleman – just someone who reeks of excessive chemical scents. Stick to his favorite, well-known brand when it comes to male grooming gifts.

10. Useless Desk Accessories
Guys, any gift labelled as a “unique desk accessory” or “office prank gift” from those SkyMall-type catalogs is just code for an overpriced paperweight that will clutter his workspace. Busy executive dads really don’t need cheap plastic toys disguised as office supplies or decor. Those often quickly get relegated to the Goodwill pile or garage storage bins.

11. Regifted Candles or Bath Products
Just don’t do this – ever. Dads know when they’re getting your dusty, unwanted hand-me-downs in the form of those stale-smelling vanilla candles or half-used bath gift sets from your aunt or grandma. Not only is it lazy and impersonal, but those re-gifted bath products will just get unceremoniously tossed in the trash or re-gifted again next year in a vicious cycle of regift purgatory.

12. Gifts “From the Dog/Cat”
Listen, we love our furry companions as much as the next person. But pets have zero comprehension of holidays, gift-giving occasions, or even what a “dad” is. Getting a pet-themed gift for dad, like a cheesy mug that says “Dad Fur-Ever” or a tacky decorative dog bone, is just bizarre and impersonal coming from a human child old enough to buy gifts. Plus, it has that regifty vibe of grabbing something from the back of your own closet rather than putting real thought into his gift.

13. Generic Nut or Sausage Gift Baskets
While food gifts can seem like a convenient and practical option, those pre-made summer sausage, cheese and nut gift baskets you grab from the grocery store lobby feel like the ultimate cop-out for lazy gift giving. Those hastily-assembled boxes of bland snacks are just disappointing, especially if dad has more refined tastes. Put in a little more creativity to curate a gourmet food basket tailored to the flavors and snacks he actually enjoys.

14. Family Photo Apparel
As funny as those cheesy novelty t-shirts, socks, or aprons emblazoned with posed family photos might seem to the gift giver, they’re really only amusing to small children or the most eccentrically-dressed relative. Most dads with at least a shred of dignity would prefer not wearing mugs adorned with their family members displayed across their chest or feet. Leave the embarrassing family photo-wear as gag gifts for the in-laws.

15. Shaving Supplies (If He’s Rocking the Beard)
Take a good look at dad this year – is he fully embracing the lumberjack beard trend and rocking some serious facial hair? If so, then razors, shaving creams and beard trimmers are essentially useless gifts that completely miss the mark on his grooming needs and interests. Wait until he’s sporting a clean-shaven look once again before splurging on shaving products and accessories. Otherwise, it’ll just lead to eye rolls and regifting those grooming products to your uncle or brother.

So there you have it – 15 gifts that should stay on the store shelves this Father’s Day. A little creativity, thoughtfulness, and paying attention to his actual interests can go a long way to make Dad feel appreciated without subjecting him to bad puns, tacky neckties or that cringeworthy “#1 Dad” mugs. Dads have endured decades of lame gifts, but this year you can break the cycle!